Me: Hi, I would like a foot-long meatball with provolone and toasted
Her: What kind of bread?
She points to the sign showing the bread
Me: Hearty Italian. Foot-long meatball with provolone and toasted
She turns around to the bread box, takes out a 6” loaf and places it in front of her
Her: Yes?
Me: No. Foot-long. A foot-long meatball with provolone and toasted.
She turns around, grabs a foot-long, places it in front of her
Her: Meat?
Me: Yes, meatballs. Meatballs, with provolone … and toasted.
She scoops out about five small meatballs and looks at me like she is about to ask a question. The male manager comes over takes the sub from her.
Him: Hello sir. You wanted a meatball sub?
Me: Yes: Foot-long with provolone and toasted.
He scoops out more meatballs and fills the sub. He then grabs some provolone and turns to the woman.
Him: Does he want this heated?
Her: I don’t know.
Him: Sir, would you like this heated?
Me: Yes
He takes the sub to the woman
Him: He wants this heated.
She places the sub in the oven for 30 or so seconds. The oven *dings* and she takes it out. She places it on the counter for the man.
Him: What would you like on it?
Me: Extra lettuce
He sprinkles a little lettuce on it
Him: And?
Me: Can I have extra lettuce?
He lightly sprinkles more on
Him: And?
Me: No, can I have a lot of extra lettuce, please?
He looks at me angrily. I am to believe that like gold, lettuce is very rare, very valuable, and
costs hundreds of dollars per ounce. He grabs a fist full of lettuce and puts it on my sub.
Him: And?
Me: Extra tomatoes
He lays out 6 slices of tomatoes, three of which were cut from the very top and the green
stem/core is still attached.
Me: Sorry, but can you take those first three off and get ones without the stems?
He takes off the tomatoes and puts them back into the serving bin
Him: And?
Me: OK. Can I have new tomatoes for that empty side?
He takes 3 different tomato slices out for the sub.
Him: And?
Me: Extra onions
He sprinkles some onions on. Maybe eight 1” slivers total. But by this point I am growing tired.
Him: And?
Me: Black pepper
He then sides the sub to the woman who stares at me with a blank emotionless face.
Me: Yes. Black pepper, please
She sprinkles on some green peppers. Figuring this still might taste good, and trying my best to not fall down from exhaustion, I let it be.
Me: OK. Can I get extra green peppers?
She puts more on. Unlike her partner, she does not prompt for continuation, but just looks up at me.
Me: OK. Can I get black pepper, too?
She just looks at me. The man interjects and tells her to wait at the cash register.
Him: And?
Me: Black pepper
He sprinkles some pepper on.
Him: And?
Me: Parmesan cheese
He grabs the shaker and, with one flick, sprinkles on some parmesan cheese. The amount
added to my sub was less than crumbs I have sometimes leave on my kitchen counter when
making toast.
Me: Can I have lots of Parmesan?
He shakes the container twice more and I think I see some fall. I am giving up. But I am so close to being done. The finish line is near, but I am running up hill and about to pass out. He does not ask “And?”, but starts to wrap up my sub. Apparently, he is as tired as I am.
Me: Sorry, can I also get some oregano?
He looks at me like he has to start all over from scratch.
Me: Nevermind
He wraps up the sub and is about to put it in a bag. I plan on eating the sub in the restaurant and in DC, the bags cost 5 cents extra. I know it’s only a nickel, but why waste?
Me: Sorry, I do not need a bag.
He takes the sub out of the bag and looks at me like I just denied him a tip. Finally, he hands the sub to the woman waiting at the cash register.
Her: What did you order?
I thought of how she just erased our entire time together. All the memories he shared making
this sub. I was her only customer, but she did not care. I was just another order to her. Just
another notch on her freshly baked bread roll bedpost.
Me: Meatball
She holds the sub in her hand
Her: What size? Small or large?
Then it hits me. There she is with my foot-long in her hands and she does not even know if it is 6 or 12 inches. She does not deserve to make my sub. We created a piece of art that took sweat and tears and a lot of hard work and she just doesn’t care. I am hurt.
Me: Foot-long
Her: That will be $5.55
Ha Ha! I now come to accept our time together is over and that we are through. And, in
retribution, I shall have the finally say.
Me: Actually, I am not taking a bag, so it should only be $5.50
SLAM! I pay in cash with the exact change and leave her life forever. Or at least until tomorrow at the same time.
.
No comments:
Post a Comment